A year ago, I dreamt I stood at the edge of myself staring at a river that split two worlds. One side heavy, faded miserable, muted, uncertain. The other side bright, open, alive, colorful. Between them, a bridge I wasn’t ready to cross, it was also locked and broken.

Yesterday my birthday, I see that image differently, t wasn’t sadness, it was becoming.

That visualisation i had yesterday during a hypnosis session was in Wanaka New Zealand whn my and my now husband went on out route back from living n austrailia. I was floating in the water, dipping my feet in at the water, present admiring and taking in the open view. I was surrounded by color, peace and feeling free and content, this wasn’t a memory of peace. what is it? it was a preview of it, a reminder from my future self showing what this is what freedom is as alignment, this is what it feels like, not perfect, chaos business endless to do list routine and inflexible schedules, but grounded, weightless, steady, knowing what we are doing next but with the chance to adapt whilst remaining present.

The last Year of Transition

The past year has been a bridge year, between burnout and balance, between proving myself  and being someone i could be, between rushing and trying to learn to slow down and breathing.
Don't get me wrong its been a frustrating slow construction of internal scaffolding, especially when we want things now and immediate but the biggest transition was learning to stabilize before I soar off into the distance.

What I used to call “stuck” was simply the body’s way of saying, not yet build the foundation first.

Your Meaning Behind the Water

If your anything like me and transport back to water when you dream of calm and peace, then here's what it could mean for you. Water mirrors the nervous system calm when supported, chaotic when disturbed.
That floating image wasn’t escape for me; it was embodiment, the moment i was accepting change and uncertainty, moving with the waves and by changing my view of freedom.
It showed me that peace isn’t found by leaving chaos, because lets face it there will always be challenges and uncertainty,  it’s created when you learn to hold calm within it, and learn how to adapt alongside it.

The river, the raft, the colors they all represent different states of being, old past and present.

The dark water my old vision, the subconscious, unprocessed grief, the loss of sense of who i was and who i want to to be. this was the survival mode i thought was a badge of honor that once kept me alive.

The color gives me the feeling of Energy, happiness, contentment in life, peace within me and the movement of just flow and moving with what ever becomes. this is the return to self.

The act of floating, this is something i don't every do the thought of the unknown underneath feels me with anxiety. but the feeling of self trust, and the quiet confidence that you don’t have to fight every moment just to move forward.

The Lesson for you Today

Being in Wanaka again or simply visualizing it reminded me that freedom isn’t about location.
It’s the moment you stop chasing peace and start practicing it because you know what they say action drives results.

all that time I thought freedom meant living a life of doing what ever I want there were no rules and feeling trapped, yet I was wrong.

It’s built through rhythm

• Sleep
• Nutrition
• Strength
• Rest and stillness.

Acting daily on the woman you want to become and noticing the gap between this and the version you are now. knowing your values, personal standards and then creating your own rhythm that meets this.

Every R.E.P.S. pillar we move through Resilience, Energy, Performance, self leadership exists to return you to that floating state, because it did exist once before. It still is in there, you just have to stop fighting change, feel comfortable with uncertainty, and learn to grow from the mistakes you made..... why? 

Because that's your story, one that will change and make a difference in your children's, grandchildren's, friends, colleagues lives. when you do it can feel exciting, living in the moment and enjoying what you have Infront of you.
 

Heres some questions for you to reflect on..

What does your calm look like, sound like, and feel like?

Where in your life are you still trying to swim instead of float?

What one habit could you commit to that brings this peace into your daily structure?

Closing Thought

The bridge from a year ago isn’t broken anymore, it’s under construction, maybe by someone just learning a new skill, but its being done plank by plank, habit by habit.
Every time I choose alignment over chaos, I lay another board across that river.

Wanaka was never the destination, it was the reflection of the woman I was always becoming, i just wasn't present and willing enough to see it at the time